Spring is finally here! I just got back from a week in California, visiting old and dear friends. Many people are amazed at how well we stay in touch, even though we are 3000 miles away, and see each other only once or twice a year. Others can’t believe how easily I’ve made the transition back to the East Coast—how I’m not pining away for what I left behind. And in the shadow of one of the most beautiful bridges in the world, I thought about that contradiction (or is it balance?) between staying connected and letting go...

Bridges:  To Burn or Not to Burn?

Isaac Newton said, "We build too many walls and not enough bridges." Nice sentiment, isn’t it? Surely it must always be better to bridge a gap than to put up a wall. Beware! If you continually build bridges, you could end up with way too many demands on your time and your energy. Your life could become overly complicated, and you find yourself unable to move in any direction because you can’t decide which bridge to take. Building too many bridges means you can invest way too much of your self in bridge maintenance.

All fired up to burn your bridges? Here’s another quote, this time from Dylan Thomas:  "When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes."

The fire of bridge burning can be very nice indeed. There’s a sense of freedom, and of creating space for something new and wonderful. But if you burn them all, you’ll send up isolated, cut off from everything.

So, here’s the big question:  Is the effort you spend maintaining an old bridge better spent on burning it and refocusing on another, more relevant bridge?

And here’s an even bigger question:  How do you know which bridge is worth burning and which is worth the investment in maintenance?

Step 1:  Listen to Your Self

Trust your intuition. If it no longer feels right, burning may be the right option. If you’re not having fun with an old friend any more, or if you are just not interested in the work that you’re doing, it might be time to get rid of that bridge.

Meditation can also help quiet down all the other voices so that you can hear your own. If you’re not sure how to get started with meditation, I recommend trying a guided meditation (someone leads you through the meditation process), until you are comfortable doing it on your own. Lisa Guyman has a great CD for this. It includes guided meditations for healing, insight and manifestation.

Another way to listen to your self is through journaling. The simple act of writing things down (or speaking them into a tape recorder, if you’d prefer) can really help you to get clear on what’s important to you. Try an SOS Chanting by Hand Journal to get you started.

Step 2:  Actively ask your self what’s important.

My good friend and colleague, Alice, clued me in to these four key questions, which can be used to help evaluate any action.

• What’s good about doing this?
• What’s bad about doing this?
• What’s good about not doing it?
• What’s bad about not doing it?

For purposes of bridge assessment, let’s try these questions:

• What’s good about burning this bridge?
• What’s bad about burning this bridge?
• What’s good about maintaining this bridge?
• What’s bad about maintaining this bridge?

What it really amounts to is discovering and/or clearly defining what’s really important to you. If you can boil it down to a “Life Mission Statement”, that’s great—but not necessary. If you simply end up with a list of your values, then you can start to assess your own personal bridge situation.

Do you have too many or too few?

Which bridges can be burned to free up resources and energy to improve existing bridges or to build new ones?

If you’re finding there’s not enough room in your life for what’s truly meaningful to you, strap on your hard hat and get busy—either with demolition or construction. Having the right infrastructure really makes it easy to get where you want to go.

It's Here! Get Great and Powerful

My first book is finally ready! Thank you all for your support and encouragement during this process. I’m now ready to write a book about writing a book (just kidding!).

New Teleclasses:  "Become the Leader of Your Life"

How many times have you found yourself dancing on the brink of your dream life, only to step back into your comfort zone at the last moment? You know you have what it takes to bring your vision to life. But how do you do this while continuing to juggle all your responsibilities? Some days it's hard to know whether you're on the brink of greatness or disaster. You are a leader--in your work, at home, in your community--why not in your own life?

Some define leadership as the art of motivating others to want to struggle for shared aspirations. If this is so, then leadership of your own life can be described as:

The art of self-motivation to achieve your highest aspirations.

In these new teleclasses, we'll explore:

• Leadership qualities: what they are, and how you already use them with others
• What's possible if you exercise these same qualities in your own life
• How to remove obstacles that prevent you from exercising these qualities with yourself

I'm doing two versions of this teleclass, a one-session mini-course, and a full, four-session series. Find out more about "Becoming the Leader of Your Life."

Get Involved, Get In Touch

If you’re interested in exploring more about life transformation, personal power, and building/burning bridges, or just about tiaras and the really cool women who wear them, here are just some of the ways for you to connect.

Visit my blog, Creating An Ideal Life While Wearing a Tiara. I post all kinds of musings, questions and general craziness here, and you’re welcome to join in and comment on any and all postings.

The SOS Forum is a terrific place to find some support and motivation from others who are taking a bigger leadership role in their lives.

To have SOS Monthly automatically sent to your inbox each month, please complete the form below:

All new subscribers will receive a copy of my special report, Turn On Your Personal Power and Lead Your Self to Greatness.

The mission of SOS Monthly is to inspire and empower you to lead the big life you want. Comments, feedback and ideas for stories are always welcome.  Also, please feel free to forward this along to anyone who might be interested and/or benefit from its contents. All story ideas, comments and suggestions are most welcome.  Send me your input!

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©2005 by Barbara Bellissimo. All rights reserved.

Barbara Bellissimo

Life Transformation  Agent

P.O. Box 1303

West Tisbury, MA   02575

1.508.696.4647

barbara@seasonsofsuccess.com