Welcome to all our new readers! Last month's issue on Personal Power generated quite a bit of discussion, some of which appears on my blog, Creating an Ideal Life While Wearing a Tiara.

As we continue exploring the theme of personal power, I've got some very special treats for you.

This month, we have our first guest contributor to SOS Monthly. I won't let you know who right now--suffice it to say it's someone who's been very close to my work, and who deeply understands and supports my quest to empower women to change their world. Our topic for this month:

Why Is It So Hard to Ask for What We Want?

I've also pulled together some really cool links and resources for you:

SOS Bookstore:  In addition to SOS publications, the SOS Bookstore carries books, CDs and DVDs that I love, and recommend. While I'm not out to compete with Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or my local bookseller, Bunch of Grapes, I'm thrilled to be able to offer this selection to you. Please visit the SOS Bookstore to see what's available, and feel free to suggest additions to my "inventory."

SOS-Recommended Web Sites:  Each month I'll be highlighting a new web site that I think is worth a visit.

Ready to check out our first guest contributor? Read on!

Why Is It So Hard to Ask for What We Want?

For those of you who are familiar with the cartoon strip "Family Circus" you may recall that during the summer the cartoon’s creator Bil Keane takes a few weeks off. During this time, Bil allows one of his cartoon characters (usually Billy or Dolly) to author his strip.

Well, this cartoon’s creator, Barbara Bellissimo, is also taking a few weeks off for the summer and in her place, one of her characters (you will find out who at the end…no peaking until then) is also authoring her strip, a/k/a SOS Monthly. Enjoy!

A day almost never passes when I do not find myself asking the question: "Why Is It So Hard To Ask For What We Want?" Sometimes I ask this of myself. For instance, last month I had to travel to the UK for business on my birthday, a Sunday. All I wanted from American Airlines that day was a complimentary upgrade to business class so I could rest with a bit more room. Why was it so hard for me to ask the agent if it would be possible to have an upgrade? I knew there was space available as I had checked the American web site the evening before. And, it really was my birthday as well as a Sunday when I should have been at home celebrating with my family.

I wondered:  Did I feel unworthy to be making the request? Did I fear a "no" answer? Did I just find it awkward to be requesting something out of the ordinary? Did I not want to appear to be "rocking the boat" or somehow calling unusual attention to myself? Was it just easier not to ask? Was my request unreasonable?

I hoped that the agent would notice it was my birthday when checking my identification and when he did would immediately offer me that complimentary upgrade while commiserating about the hardship of traveling on such a special day and a Sunday nonetheless. Alas, that was not to be. He was not the clairvoyant I had expected and I never did ask for an upgrade. Instead, I spent the seven-hour flight from Boston in full view of empty business class seats stewing over my missed opportunity.

Those who know me might find this story unusual. Unusual in that I rarely miss an opportunity to ask for what I want. Perhaps this was a day of momentary lack of motivation for this usually assertive person. A coach I once had taught me something that I remember to this day:  A ”Sold Out” Sign is just an opportunity to ask. Why didn’t I just ask?

More often, I wonder about why it is so hard for other people to ask for what they want. In my over twenty-year career in high technology, managing staffs of more than one hundred, I am never surprised when in a meeting or one-on-one or while conducting a performance review I know that the other person has something that they want to ask for but just cannot. Have I somehow intimidated them or otherwise created an environment where they may sense it is not OK to ask for what they want? Or is it one of the reasons I cited earlier? Do they expect me to be clairvoyant?

You might want to ask yourself if the difficulty in asking for what you want applies to you. Do you allow others or the environment to intimidate you into not asking? Would you rather not "rock the boat" with an unusual request? Do you feel unworthy or unreasonable in your request? Are you afraid of a "no" answer?

If my story is any example, I was a grumpier customer on that flight to the UK because I never did ask. You have probably had things in your life, career, relationship or everyday that you wanted to ask for but did not. And, you have probably been a little less happy or more disappointed as a result. Maybe you are thinking of one thing you would like to ask for right now. I challenge you to go ahead and ask for it. What’s the worst that can possibly happen? You might be surprised!

Your guest SOS Monthly contributor: Mike Bellissimo Mike has been dating Barbara for the past 26 years, and can't believe he is about to have a 13-year-old daughter. When he's not looking after the needs of the two women in his life, he's the senior director of marketing for Sun Microsystems. If you need help asking for what you want, email Mike at mbelliss@verizon.net.

SOS-Recommended Web Site

For my first recommendation, I'd like to send you on over to By For And About Women, a brand new radio show! Host Edie Galley has created "The Internet's Most Powerful Talk Radio Show Dedicated to Helping Women." This site serves up interviews with guests who share intimate details of their struggles, setbacks, failures and successes. Guests that share specific tips and strategies that helped them and can help you. In fact, one of Edie's first guests was Laura Young, a member of the Secret Order of the Tiara, and contributor to our first book, Become Your Own Great and Powerful.

I am thrilled that I'll be interviewed by Edie at the end of this month, and will, of course, let you know when it's ready for your listenting pleasure.

Visit By For And About Women now!

A Very Special Offer For You

International author, Audrey Blankenhagen, has a terrific win-win offer for you. Buy her compelling action-packed novel, The Curse of Kali from Amazon.com on July 28th for $19.95 and get over $1,200 worth of bonuses donated by best-selling authors and internet experts (including me).

Please read about this irresistible offer now as it is available on July 28th, 2005 for 24 hours only! To find out more, go to:
http://www.audreyblankenhagen.co.uk/special-offer.htm

Get Involved, Get In Touch

If you’re interested in exploring more about life transformation, personal power, and cage rattling, or just about tiaras and the really cool women who wear them, here are just some of the ways for you to connect.

Visit my blog, Creating An Ideal Life While Wearing a Tiara. I post all kinds of musings, questions and general craziness here, and you’re welcome to join in and comment on any and all postings.

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If you are inspired or provoked by any of the SOS Monthly topics, or you think there's a topic I've been ignoring, let me know. I'm happy to give you the space to do some cage rattling of your very own.

The mission of SOS Monthly is to inspire and empower you to lead the big life you want--right now! Comments, feedback and ideas for stories are always welcome.  Also, please feel free to forward this along to anyone who might be interested and/or benefit from its contents. All story ideas, comments and suggestions are most welcome.  Send me your input!

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©2005 by Barbara Bellissimo. All rights reserved.