I have truly been torn regarding what to write about this month. Should I go deep and follow-up on the “Families” topic from last issue? Should I stay on the surface and do a fluffy holiday piece—“jingle bells and ho ho ho and presents for pretty girls”?

So I took a look at last December’s issue, which was all about saying “please” and “thank you”. And I remembered a little study I did on my little trip to Connecticut last week.

There's also the latest news from QueenPower, my new site. It's all about QueenPower's gifts to you for the holidays. Kind of like Oprah's Favorite Things...only I can't afford to send you all diamond watches!

Asking and Appreciating

I was invited to be the featured author at a Connecticut book club’s annual party. To attend the event I had to drive 3+ hours after getting off the boat (the ferry that takes us in our cars to the mainland). I also stopped for gas and food along the way, stayed at a hotel that night, and did a bit of shopping before catching the boat back the next day.

At my first stop, I had ordered my food and was waiting for it. In the thirty seconds I stood there, two different people came up to the counter. One demanded extra ketchup. No “please”, no “thank you”. A second demanded tea, with sugar not the blue stuff or the pink stuff. Again, no “please”, no “thank you”. I decided to pay extra attention to my (and others’) interactions on my trip, and see if the situation was as bad as I had seen in that short period of time.

I am sorry to report that the situation did not improve. Everyone—from the hotel clerk, to the other food workers I encountered, to other customers I watched (except for one man at the hotel), to cashiers in the retail stores I visited—seemed to have forgotten those three little words.

And I wonder, are we all feeling so unappreciated that we refuse to appreciate others? Are we all feeling so powerless that we feel that the only way to exert our power is to demand things, not ask for them?

At this particularly rushed and stressful time of year, I give you a homework assignment. Remember to say “please” when you ask for something. You’ll be much more likely to get it in a pleasant and timely fashion. And when you get it, say “thank you”. Here, I’ll let you copy off my paper…

What I Am Asking For…

1. From my friends—please continue to be honest with me, and know that I am always here for you.
2. From my colleagues—please continue to help me be rigorous about growing my business, and to not get sidetracked by every pretty sparkly thing that crosses my path.
3. From my daughter—please understand that it is not my main mission in life to embarrass you in front of your friends.
4. From my husband—please stand ready with the giant pin if you see my head getting too big or rising too high into the clouds.
5. From each of you—please listen to each other; respect each other; and offer help and support when you can.

What I Have Received…

1. To all the readers of “Become Your Own Great and Powerful”—thank you for reading, and for sending all of your feedback.
2. To Allyn Evans, founder of QueenPower.com—thank you for letting me take over what you started.
3. To my sister—thank you for letting us all swarm your house for Thanksgiving. And for keeping the "turkeys on your head" tradition alive.
   (See photo: my daughter, my brother, me, my mom and my sister)
4. To my daughter—thank you for telling me about your day every day, and for having such a great sense of humor.
5. To my husband—thank you for your wisdom, your love, your great ideas, and for helping me to keep my feet on the ground. And for being the official family photographer.

There is no due date on your homework, it’s an ongoing assignment. One last thing—please enjoy your holidays and thank you for supporting me and SOS Monthly this year.

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Happy Kwanzaa!

And all best wishes for a happy, healthy and successful 2006...

QueenPower's Gifts to You

As QueenPower's first gift to you, did you know that there is an entire team of Queens available to you? Right now, there are seven members of the Queen Team, who can help you with everything from turning your writings into published work, promoting your self and your business, managing your life--even finding resources on the web!

If you'd like to join the Queen Team, or if you have suggestions on how to make QueenPower.com work better for you, send me a royal missive!

This month I'm also announcing a new benefit for all Crown Me Club members. Fanfare, please...

The Joys of Journaling:  A Dialogue

(12-page e-book)

by Erica Miner, Journaling Queen and

Carolyn Howard-Johnson, Queen of Frugal Promotions

This conversation on journaling began when one queen sent another queen an email, asking for help. It blossomed into a dialogue on organization, attraction, coincidence, meditation, and—yes, of course—journaling. If you are a Crown Me Club member, you've already received a separate email telling you how to access this cool new benefit.

If you aren't yet a Crown Me Club member, join now! You'll receive two more gifts in addition to this one, plus early access to all new benefits as they are added!

Show me all the Crown Me Club benefits!

What to Buy the Women on Your List

Queen Power T-shirts Now Available! Nine different styles, including tanks and camis. Prices start at $13.99. Check them out...

Edie Galley, Founder and Host of byforandaboutwomen.com, calls Become Your Own Great and Powerful:

"A must read. I've put it on my list of gifts to buy other women."

Now you can put it on your list, too! Through December 31, 2005 I'm offering a very special gift package. Order Become Your Own Great and Powerful at the regular price of $16.95,

and you'll receive a QueenPower tote bag (valued at $12.99) at no extra charge!

I'll even personalize the book for whomever you're giving it to (even yourself).

This offer expires on December 31, 2005.

Get Involved, Get In Touch

If you’re interested in exploring more about life transformation, personal power, and cage rattling, or just about tiaras and the really cool women who wear them, here are just some of the ways for you to connect.

Visit my blog, Creating An Ideal Life While Wearing a Tiara. I post all kinds of musings, questions and general craziness here, and you’re welcome to join in and comment on any and all postings.

To have SOS Monthly automatically sent to your inbox each month, please complete the form below:

SOS Monthly Sign-Up Email:

All new subscribers will receive a copy of my special report, Turn On Your Personal Power and Lead Your Self to Greatness (a $19 value).

Want to do some cage-rattling of your very own? Write for SOS Monthly!

If you are inspired or provoked by any of the SOS Monthly topics, or you think there's a topic I've been ignoring, let me know.

The mission of SOS Monthly is to inspire and empower you to lead the big life you want--right now! Comments, feedback and ideas for stories are always welcome.  Also, please feel free to forward this along to anyone who might be interested and/or benefit from its contents. All story ideas, comments and suggestions are most welcome.  Send me your input!

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©2005 by Barbara Bellissimo. All rights reserved.